Doppelganger of the Day

How many songs can your doppelganger hold?

Mr. Steve Jobs better be moving over at the next Apple Keynote address when I present the new hit: iDoppelganger. It's just like you, only shiny and more expensive. I want two.

That out of the way, I decided to not talk to Merritt today about her dislike of me having an effect on my grades. Let me give a recap of the conversation that tipped me off that she wasn't one to talk reasonably with:

MH: Well, last of all, I'd like to talk about my Godot paper. I don't think I explained it well enough in class, which might explain your reaction when I tried to talk to you.

Merritt: [rudely interrupting] No, I understood you just fine. You didn't make all of the corrections to your MLA citation. I thought I made myself very clear when it came to ranting about citation that you needed to have done it correctly. It is not my job to teach you MLA -- that was your junior teachers job. You can complain to me all you want, but with fifty other papers to grade, I'm not changing my mind. The grade stands.

MH: [after a moment of silence] So you're aware that, had you pointed out the mistake to me, I would have changed it, and the only reason it wasn't fixed was because you failed to notice it in the first place?

Merritt: [glaring] Yes.

MH: Wonderful. Well, I think that's all I've got to say, Mrs. Merritt. Thank you for your time.

That is not all I have to say. When my grades are final, when there is no possible way that she can stand between me and Chicago, she will hear it. Every single word of it. When I'm beyond her, when she can't touch me, she will know that I was never under any delusion -- I knew how much she hated me and played it smart.

There are simply no words for her. She is the teacher from heck. If she's not pushing her political views on the students, she's modeled the curriculum around it. She's insecure about her own intelligence, and deceived as to her own cleverness (really, lack-there-of). And, today, I found out that I'm not the only one she's done this to -- Will Wheeler has been getting his fair share of it over the last year too. I think I'm looking forward to telling her off more than graduation. It's about all that keeps me going.

So, goodnight. I'm going to find solace in some Kurt Vonnegut Jr., an author whom my teacher, might I add, has drastically overlooked. Probably because he's not a feminist.

Zing!

posted by THE BOY SCHOLASTIC @ 11:19 PM